when i was online

a collection of moments from the timeline

somewhere, 4 dudes are home on thanksgiving break from their first semester of college drinking in somebodys basement sending “back at it” snaps to girls that wont respond. theyre calling it a boys night anyway. tevins mom is making pizza rolls upstairs

i saw my exs family last night. her parents hugged me and said “im sorry for any pain our daughter has caused you. shes a dumbass. you are so fucking cool and sick as hell and can kickflip and are awesome and also cool. when she realizes it, its gonna be too late.”

woah

i graduated high school 2010 so it was cool to paint “sen10r” on your car. i just saw somebody with “sen20r” painted on their lexus. i see the education system still fucken rips

u can load the dishwasher any way u want really. the dishes will get clean. water goes everywhere in there

today is four years without cigarettes. i miss them every day of my fucking life. also i can run and bike a lot better. but i dont look as cool. hard to say if they’re bad or not

it is not “spooky szn” it is october. you are 24

excited for my first day at at&t as a network engineer supporting national infrastructure. just unplugged a few things in the server room for my space heater. it’s cold in here. should be fine though

if i won mega millions i would simply give it back and earn it myself. hustle mindset

$⠀ (\__/) ⠀ (•ㅅ•) my gf writing the bad 　＿ノヽノ＼ __ airbnb review /　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ ( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 | |　ﾉ⌒＼￣￣ヽ　ノヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／　　｜( 王ﾉ〈 (\__/) 　　 /ﾐ`ー―彡\ (•ㅅ•) me$

of all the worst things to get called by a stranger i think “bud” has to be the worst one

i hate using plastic so i pick up my dogs shit with my bare hands. i wish more people would actually care about the earth

damn girl r u black friday cuz im wonderin what ur deal is

everybody tell truck happy birthday he is 6 today

if i was a girl on the bachelor i would simply get a rose

happy presidents day to william henry harrison only, who died a month into his term from pneumonia after not wearing a coat during his inaugural address. that is cool as fuck

normalize taking ur gfs credit card from her purse to place some bets on sports

yeah yeah yeah friendsgiving. we get it. yall have friends. brag about it a little bit more why dont you

me at home: i am going to keep the thermostat at a modest 71 degrees

me in a hotel room: do you think this shit goes lower than 59

my dad funded a kickstarter for this phone. bro look at this shit

yall dont think i read replies to my tweets huh? in my mentions like "choke me daddy". is that funny to you beth

oh hell yeah new chainsmokers song. cant wait to pregame to it with my 3 roommates wearing unwashed throwback nba jerseys then go to the same bar and invade girls personal space

i need the government to double my student loan debt. ive been getting complacent and want to grind even harder

honestly the hardest part of recovering from knee surgery has been not being able to do the stanky leg in the club

packing 8 pair of underwear for a 4 day trip because at 27 years old i am crippled by the idea that it is possible that i could shit myself every day of the week

ive never met a person who was lactose intolerant who had any concern for their own life. they will look u right in the eyes and drink milk

haha brooke i see where u wished happy national boyfriend day to taco bell on instagram. i get it like taco bell is ur boyfriend. thats wild

let’s say you brought a juul on the titanic submarine. would it be in poor taste to hit it

pick your quarantine house. i will answer no questions. choose wisely

bringing a new energy to 2018. saturdays will still be for the boys, but instead of 30 bud lights kevin is gonna come thru with that new lemongrass essential oil for the diffuser. yeah fire that shit up dawg my chakras been out of line lately

racism is OVER baby. good work everyone

how many kids have to die from vaping before everyone realizes smoking cigarettes is way cooler and better for you

hey its me, one of those girls who cant wait for college football!!!! my whole family is racist and i have a dog that i dont take care of

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